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fugue

by hegrá

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1.
moss 04:48
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see sunlight disappear behind a veil the heavens open up with frigid hail the wind cracking the marrow in your bones the darkness in your skull becomes a drone the rain descends upon the sodden earth the years of damp seem like a bitter curse stone to dust dust to gale weeks go by without a clue ash to blood blood on stone hope, despair anew spread seeds of doubt on fallow fields to spend a lifetime down in the weeds it's been an age since summertime the only thing to touch your face are the cold, lonely hands of time clawing lines into your skin weeks bleed into years with nothing new two bony empty hands intertwine (on the level) the stale around them starts to whine (sentimental) "is this love? is it dead?" weeks go by without a clue "will this lust survive it all?" hope, despair anew spread seeds of doubt on fallow fields to spend a lifetime down in the weeds to fill your life with self-concern to spend it waiting for sweet return a golden age when all seemed right all you end up with is time to burn
2.
j'acuse! 04:55
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a vow that's broken i held your bones in my arms and felt you crumble those conversations at 2am unwound by the way that we left it but i doubt that this is goodbye to bring two oceans together in the palm of your hand grit your teeth, it's only the water flowing out with the tide tear it down take what's golden tear it down cut the cord tear it down words unspoken tear it down a call awoken to pull back the veil and find some meaning in conversations at 2am unbound, free to say what you wanted now i'm not sure if this is goodbye tear it down
3.
gaslight 04:16
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slide on over to me i can tell that you're intrigued a little closer to be nearer to a future supreme i can make you dream of any way you want it to be that's the way i need it, i just really want you to see another clammy hand in need of a shake another con artist back on the take gaslighting i'd give nothing to be sitting at a table with me well i won't ever give it up for nothing and no one anything that's given from me never comes for free that's the way i want it, why can't you just let me be? another fine powder in need of a taste gaslighting it's just a little hangover nursed back into place gaslighting baby - you don't have to worry 'bout a thing baby - you don't need to worry 'bout the past (or mine) you don't need to worry 'bout the future you don't need to worry 'bout the present 'cause i'm the only thing for you i'll make you believe you gotta believe in me i'll make you believe that i'm the only one for you give me twenty minutes you'll have only eyes for me another dirty animal out of its cage another petty criminal taking the stage another vapid character that's making you grey another manchild that's brimming with rage gaslighting
4.
ember 03:41
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re-arrange my hand take me to the ocean lay me on a field of flowers show me, Angie the light of the dawn i got a fear of being swallowed by the sea, short-term attention, long-term love, falling for the wrong woman oh, i've been dead from the neck down for twenty-odd years a shark on its back lying in the sand in my dreams on fields of red a tree cleaved in two in my dreams on fields of red there's nobody but you show me affection, bring me charm help me waste away the hours string me along like all your other lovers douse me in a wave of pity and slowly light a match is it a loss to never have an offer of you truly being happy? oh, i've lost any ounce of pretense or compassion for all your naked, stubborn feelings well aren't i quite the catch?
5.
downpour 04:19
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a new day dawns with something wrong take the sheets from your bed and throw them down put a smile on your face and walk outside mingle with the rush and ruin and awful stench get your aching limbs to moving upon the floor at the end of the day - when all your friends are gone... to shake away the endless gloom of feast and famine to live your life upon a loop and not feel panic i don't want to talk about it no more would you believe in something outside yourself? would you believe in something for once? a new thought blooms: "there's something wrong with the state of it all heading down" each voice you erase by switching off - signaling the rush and ruin and awful sound get your aching throat to moving upon the streets at the end of the day - when all your hope has gone... would you believe in something outside yourself? would you believe in something for once? would you believe in something outside yourself? would you believe in something for once in your life?
6.
bedrooms 04:09
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hallucination a mother, astray a painful vision of what could be an echo chamber of broken dreams a worthless evening fixed in place useless speeches of slow decay release your anger and embrace only to find it still in place an attic, with scarves upon the bannister four walls border you define what you want take me back to your house show me who you really are with your room helpless artist a poet - erased bereft of ardor, it seems a waste to see you suffer all in vain a bottle drained of all its energy the past choking you a decline in your arms take me back to your house show me who you really are with your room
7.
feral 04:32
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don't tell me that we could have made it don't you say "we could have worked out" i don't want your voice in my head or in my screen i lay beside your ghost each night unfurl daylight i stretch my hands up to the sky uptight, i cry: "i'm the dog in the yard, rabid and riddled with fleas - yeah, the dog in the yard yearning, begging for scraps" only scraps take your time, slow it down even though it won't work out take the thought of you and i - of us - and throw it down late at night i wake in fright undone, alight i sink beneath the soil each time uptight, i cry: "i'm the dog in the yard, rabid and riddled with fleas - yeah, the dog in the yard yearning, begging for scraps" only scraps
8.
nice 1 04:04
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tell me sweet nothings, rose-coloured beauty well i won't let this turn monochrome stare up at the ceiling, eyes glued to the floor well i don't know what i'm gonna give you, but something more pancakes in the kitchen coffee on the boil you'll be out in a minute face lit up with joy take my hand, and lead me through the motions move my heart to the beat of a sweet song on the stereo sell me a story - that i'll always be around well i won't let this turn monotone i'm stuck with this feeling - eyes glued to the door well i don't know what i'm gonna find there, but something more blank space in the kitchen blood on the boil you've been gone for a minute but we've been here before take my hand, and lead me through the motions move my heart to the beat of a sweet song on the stereo
9.
drekkingarhylur 04:10
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stay for a while let me cling to you like moss on a stone it'll take years for me to break you down don't walk away 'cause i own you even though i don't know a thing about you don't turn your back to me you better listen close you know that i won't if you just say no i went down to the river and i can't bear the sight of its shores no more well stay for the trial i will pray for you to sink like a stone it'll take years for me to break this down and you'll float away and i'll mourn you even though i don't know a thing about you i should have heard you out didn't come close now you're not around 'cause you just said no well stay for a while my thoughts linger too, as cold as a stone it'll take years for us to break this down an ardent pain we'll i'll owe you even though i don't know a thing about you we should have called it out now we're getting close it might be enough when we all say no
10.
optimist 03:49
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day in, day out well i could be brand new it's not that change happened all at once - i've been running in place day in, day out i'm more alone with you than when i'm on my own well i could be brand new fake it till it quits being more than this feeling of a void it's not that change didn't come for us - we've been running in place day in, day out well i could do much more give it time, things won't be the same i'll do better, i swear i swear tomorrow's a new day to care with things heading down, i'll try sticking round unfair to lay the blame on my doorstep impaired, will we make it through another day in, day out i'm adrift at sea i shrink away from your attention tugging me in one direction stuck in place stalling at the bottom of a hill if i don't call it quits, then baby, you will i swear (will we make it?) tomorrow's a new day (will we make it through?) to care (will we make it?) with things heading down (will we make it through?) i'll try sticking round unfair (will we make it?) to lay the blame on my doorstep (will we make it through?) impaired (will we make it?), will we make it through another day?
11.
magdalene 05:04
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quiet it's oh so quiet in this room where there used to be some beds by the bookshelves patient patiently waiting for someone to open up a rusty door to a memory there lying down beneath the earth their tiny hands reach out to you show me devotion show me this world is not the end show me your faith show me that sin is no more shallow than a grave magdalene well they took you in with open arms magdelene when you left you were not whole riot there's been a riot in your head where there once used to be some hope of a future absent absently waiting for the end of the hypocrisy of them but there's no ending and while you're waiting for the truth their tiny hands reach out for you the children in the tanks a crowd of empty hands and you - alone through it all how could it be that love could turn into such pain, and what they gave you there they dare call mercy? you never wanted it to start you only wanted to reach out your palms hold the present in your hands instead your clinging to an empty past

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released June 22, 2022

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hegrá Cork, Ireland

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